another kid and two jobs later

(This is a "getting smarter about my *mental* health" post)

... I reached a breaking point a few weeks ago: received a phone call telling me to not bother coming in to work anymore, they were letting me go. "Not a good fit" "No energy" (that might be true, but in reality I accidentally pissed off someone, and all the 'reasons' for the "letting go" were really excuses IMO).

This was a gig I'd only started in February this year. After being let go for financial reasons ("we should have run the numbers better before creating and filling the position") from the job I started in September 2012.

I had been having to wake up at 4.30am almost every day in order to ensure my arriving at a reasonable time at work twice a week ... and it's not like I was guaranteed to be able to catch a nap during the day ... and I'd have to juggle both kids' dinners in the evening followed by putting them down for the night (usually solo, no thanks to hubby's schedule), then clean the kitchen, maybe manage to eat some food, pass out, then start the whole thing all over again.

I don't know how to expand on that to give you an idea of just how exhausted I have been.

Even as it sent me teetering on the edge of a breakdown, the most recent loss of job is actually the best thing that could have happened to me at this time, because, frankly, I was so focused on just surviving on a day to day basis, I had no idea how bad I had it.

What saved me is my decision that very day to seek acupuncture treatment.
I'll expand on that in another post.

I can say I'm actually happy now. Or at least happiER than I've been in a long time.

And now I have the energy and willpower to make it to the gym, to cook, to eat better... back on track about getting smart(-er?) about my weight (... and body, energy, health, ...)

Two months later

Has it already been two months since that last post?

time really keeps on slipping slipping slipping ....

I'm not going to post a progress pic of the scale, because if you go just by that, it looks like I've made no progress.

But I know I have.

I'm hitting the Y four times a week now:
- Mondays: Zumba followed by Weights on Ball
- Tuesdays: Zumba
- Thursdays: Yoga/Pilates
- Fridays: Weights on Ball

Last week, the weather was even just right for me to add a few days where I walked (and pushed the stroller) to/from the Y (20 mins each way) in addition to the regularly-scheduled exercises listed above.

So that part of the weight loss equation is in place. Now to enhance it. I'm psyching myself up for engaging the services of a personal trainer.

I also need to eat better, and drink loads of water. I'm failing at both right now. Too easy to reach for those KitKats and Coke Zeros rather than a stick of celery and a glass of water. Also trying to cook meals again -- with the kid being a major timesuck, it has been too easy to grab some fast food burgers (and fries, onion rings, even McFlurries!) on the way back from the Y, or get pizza delivered for dinner. And when I do go grocery shopping, I end up stocking up on Golden Oreos, ooey gooey cake and chips rather than veggies, fruit or dead animals.

One step at a time.

At least I've got the basic exercise routine down pretty well.

Now, onwards and upwards!!

YMCA I was in you!

After just about four months of absence, I actually hit the YMCA for a bit of exercise this evening! I am SO thankful they have a FREE in-house 2-hr nursery facility!! Today I only did a quick 30 + 5 mins on the elliptical, but it was good to be pushing the heart again (wasn't out of breath the way I was four months ago when I started my cardio up again for what was that, a week?, before I had the PROM incident?). My quads were quietly groaning at me after just a few minutes' work, it was a great feeling to use them the whole 35mins.



^^ It's washed out, but that's fine... this is what the scale read today... In a few weeks' -- or a month's -- time, I'll take another pic, and we'll see if that needle went down any. The number is way off from my last weigh in at the doctor's office, so I'm not going to focus on the actual number, just the change. You see, I'm pretty much at my pre-pregnancy weight, which is still over 30lbs too heavy, so the journey to a less-fat me continues.

Updates on actual breastfeeding and mommy-related things will come too... when I have time!!! Even this blog post is being typed on stolen time :p Can't stay and chat. Ciao!