Friday, April 26, 2013

another kid and two jobs later

(This is a "getting smarter about my *mental* health" post)

... I reached a breaking point a few weeks ago: received a phone call telling me to not bother coming in to work anymore, they were letting me go. "Not a good fit" "No energy" (that might be true, but in reality I accidentally pissed off someone, and all the 'reasons' for the "letting go" were really excuses IMO).

This was a gig I'd only started in February this year. After being let go for financial reasons ("we should have run the numbers better before creating and filling the position") from the job I started in September 2012.

I had been having to wake up at 4.30am almost every day in order to ensure my arriving at a reasonable time at work twice a week ... and it's not like I was guaranteed to be able to catch a nap during the day ... and I'd have to juggle both kids' dinners in the evening followed by putting them down for the night (usually solo, no thanks to hubby's schedule), then clean the kitchen, maybe manage to eat some food, pass out, then start the whole thing all over again.

I don't know how to expand on that to give you an idea of just how exhausted I have been.

Even as it sent me teetering on the edge of a breakdown, the most recent loss of job is actually the best thing that could have happened to me at this time, because, frankly, I was so focused on just surviving on a day to day basis, I had no idea how bad I had it.

What saved me is my decision that very day to seek acupuncture treatment.
I'll expand on that in another post.

I can say I'm actually happy now. Or at least happiER than I've been in a long time.

And now I have the energy and willpower to make it to the gym, to cook, to eat better... back on track about getting smart(-er?) about my weight (... and body, energy, health, ...)